My March Blog Overview

In this month’s post you will find information and inspiration about the following things:

Unexpected Changes
Planning for the Future
Systemic / Family Therapy


Unexpected Changes

They always say “be careful what you wish for” and this month I got a taste of why! Like many people I have all sorts of dreams for my future … you know the ones; the ones unlikely to happen but that you spend hours daydreaming about them coming true all the same. Now that Mach has hit, I find myself presented with exactly what I have wished for. Luckily though I also find myself with choices to make and time to prepare. The changes won’t be a sure thing unless I decide to make them so. This is a prime position to be in because I can still exert the power of choice. This is a strange situation to find myself in as it really has made me confront what it is that I think I want and whether I’m ready or not to take the plunge. So my advice here is to do this…

Imagine your dream life was presented to you right now. You could genuinely have it all if you just said yes. Would you really be able to make the leap? You might automatically say,
“Yes of course!”
But think for a minute about what you’d have to give up and what you actually love about the life that you have now.
Looking at from this new perspective might help you to realign what you truly want and how it might become a reality.

Planning for the Future

With all of this change on the horizon it’s forced me to think more practically about my future.
So how have I approached this?

Mind Maps

Thrashing out my thoughts is my go-to activity when I have a lot to process.
I grab a notebook, write the key topic in the center of a page and then list all and as many of my connecting thoughts and ideas. This helps me to empty my mind and see exactly what I am facing.
From here I am able to pay attention to the parts that I am drawn to and thus require further exploration.

Pro and Con Lists

Using my key thoughts from the mind mapping exercise I take the most appealing ideas and break them down into good and bad qualities. This is when I have to be really objective and honest with myself.
It’s no good doing something I really want to do if it’s littered with practical reasons not to!

Further Research

All of this exploration will help you to identify where you might have gaps in your knowledge.
(The who, where, when, what, how type questions.)
Out comes the laptop and up comes Google.
This is a great way to fill in the blanks so that you can make really informed choices.

Idea Bouncing

It often pays to talk big things through with at least one other person; someone you trust to be objective.
Essentially you want them to throw up as many hypothetical obstacles as they can to help you to consider your ideas from all angles.
From my experience though, don’t talk to too many people; this can become confusing.

Paving the Way Forwards

Now with all this exploration under your belt, you should have a much clearer view of the route you might take.
Think about the first few things you’ll need to do to take action and make it happen.
Strive to make these plans as simple and systemised as possible.
Consider budgets, time constraints, key objectives and additional resources.

Embrace the Change

Once you know what you are going to do and how you are going to do it, you can immerse yourself in the commitment of action.
If you have planned well, you will have minimised your risk so you won’t need to spend inordinate amounts of time fretting. Instead you can enjoy embarking on the new activities that are going to lead to the change that you have decided upon.

Systemic and Family Therapy

Another huge theme for me this month was to see, quite clearly, what wasn’t working in my life.
It’s easy to tune into this if you pay particular attention to feelings of frustration, irritation, annoyance and disappointment (to name just a few).
When you notice these feelings also pay attention to if there are people involved in the interactions with you.
It may be that you are aggrieved with yourself – in which case exploring yourself in therapy can really help.
It may be that your partner is the source of your negative feelings – in which case relationship counselling can provide a place for you to strengthen your communication and patterns of interaction.
Or it could be your wider family. Maybe there are challenges among a number of you. Perhaps you feel like no one understands anyone. Maybe this results in arguments, feuds, periods of not speaking, hurtful accusations and a general sense of dysfunction. In these instances family or systemic therapy can be the answer.
Yes, the same principals applied in individual counselling/therapy have been adapted to work with groups of people who struggle to co-exist. The primary aim here is to make the relationships more manageable, harmonious and healthy.